So last night I finally realized I need to live my life and not really care what others may think as long as I’m not actually hurting anyone. I’ve lived in fear of others and their thoughts about me for 36 years and I think it’s about time that I just become myself whoever that maybe.
My parents are pretty strict as far as raising their kids. We were not allowed to swear, contradict anything they say even if we have factual evidence to prove our point or talk when the television was on the news or a sports game.
Even with all these strict things going on it’s like nobody really cared what was going on behind the scenes. The school tried to intervene and even send the police our house several times but in those days sexual and physical abuse was swept under the rug. I can overlook the sexual or physical abuse, but the mental one is still affecting me to this day. I’m a grown man and I’m still afraid of what my family will think about me. It’s almost like I’m waiting for my dad to barge into my living room and either ground me or beat my ass with a belt.some
This is just something I’m going to have to work on and after the revelations I made via social media last night I don’t really have to worry about my family that much sense some private message me and others texted me that I am no longer part of their life or that I should kill myself for bring them shame. Who knows this may be for the best. Time to stop living in fear and just start being myself.