Have I reached my final destination

Holiday’s are always hard for me and if you factor in the arthritis pain it’s downright unbearable. My bipolar is currently kicking my ass and has me in a depressive state and constantly thinking about ways to end it all because sometimes nothingness seems like the better option to pain and depression. I know I…

New prescriptions and new hope

I went to my psychiatrist today and she gave me some new prescriptions my current pill regimen is: Duloxetine DR 90mg 1x daily Risperidone 0.5mg 2x daily Risperidone 2mg at Bedtime Lamotrigine 150mg 1x daily Lorazepam 1mg 2x daily Temazepam 15mg at bedtime I’m looking forward to the Temazepam because according to my psychiatrist it…

Thinking about hookers and blow

I have tons of money making ideas unfortunately 99% of them are not legal at this time. The world we live in values illegal and gray area products and services which I have access to but I have no desire to end up in jail. Right now I’ve been watching some videos on YouTube about…

It’s time to grow up

I’m 37 years old and still having trouble providing basic necessities to my family. I need to become financially stable without sacrificing my mental health. I have come to the conclusion that I either need to find an additional source of income or at least consider the possibility of finding a new job no matter…

New meds today

Went to see the doctor today and got some new meds. I like that the afternoon meds have been added because today was the first time in awhile the afternoon blues didn’t hit me. Hopefully, this is a normal everyday thing because I hate feeling bad.

I found the problem

I’ve been down a lot the last few weeks and I finally figured out why. Apparently, I mistakingly stopped taking my Cymbalta and my body was going through withdrawals and being deprived of the medication is absolutely needed. I started taking it again a few days ago and I’m starting to fill a lot better. I…

My brain is defective

I know I should be happy. I have a great wife and wonderful children. I work at a job I absolutely love and we finally are starting to have a little extra money for luxuries, but I can’t escape these thoughts of suicide and self-harm. I’ve read and have been told by doctors that it is…