Life sucks and then you die

When I was younger I used to be a hard-core wrestling fan. One of the quotes I remember most was WWE owner Vince McMahon saying “Life sucks and then you die” This quote always sticks in my head because after all most of the time with bipolar disorder life does suck.

I’ve been having a difficult time the last few weeks and I really didn’t want to discuss it on my blog but I feel like I need to get it off my chest. Quite honestly I don’t feel like my medication is working properly anymore. I’m stuck in a very deep depression and am having issues with my memory, motivation, and even have developed the urge to start cutting again.

Don’t worry though because I do have an appointment with my therapist this week and I’m sure we can address a lot of this via medication. I do feel however that my time being a person who positively contributes to society via gainful employment might be limited. I’m at the point where I might lose my Medicaid insurance and I can’t afford to pay for the cost of private insurance. Losing my meds would probably mean I would also lose my job once again qualifying to go back on meds. Perhaps I should take my doctor’s advice and try to get on disability

Life is just hard right now and while there are good things going on I just can’t find my happy place. I’m over the whole fake it till you make it thing and at the moment just want to wallow in my misery. Please send some positive vibes my way.

Talk to you later.

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