I’ve come to the conclusion finding happiness requires you to learn to love yourself. Everyone has a deep-seated yearning to feel loved. Unfortunately, most of us do not have self-compassion and aren’t able to love ourselves for who we are. The Bible tells us that we are to “Love thy neighbor as thyself.” There lies the conundrum. If we don’t love ourselves how is it possible to love anyone else?
The world is an inconsiderate and vindictive place. Often times we let the opinions of others dictate how we view ourselves and our level of happiness. These toxic people cause us to feel inferior and worthless. These feelings make us wonder what is wrong with us. We search and search for answers but never find any. That’s because there isn’t anything wrong with us other than us allowing these thoughts and feelings take up residence in our brain.
We mentally punish ourselves unnecessarily over incorrect and negative self-dialogue. All of us have the power to stop this poisonous thought process but often times don’t realize it. Practicing self-love and self-compassion can go a long way in bringing your happiness back. A great analogy is your mind is a bus and you are its driver. Throughout life, you drive your bus route and pick up passengers along the way. These passengers are actually our thoughts and feelings. Some of these passengers are great while others become unruly. As the bus driver, you can to kick any of your passengers off at any time. So remember you have complete control over the thoughts and feelings you experience throughout the day.
Family dynamics can also play a role in our inability to love ourselves. There are times we might feel neglected or unappreciated. Also, we can to feel responsible for the actions and behavior of other family members. When these emotional triggers come along you must remember it’s hopeless for you to try to control their lives as they are their own person. You are not responsible in any way for their actions and all humans come with their own little quirks. It’s impossible for us to control other people’s hatefulness, envious attitudes, and complexes.
Our problem is we have such a low opinion of ourselves we place these toxic people on a pedestal. This allows them to walk all over us like a doormat. To rediscover happiness you need to break off your relationships with these people. Narcissistic and toxic people thrive on removing the happiness from others. Separate yourself from them until you are content with your true self and know they are not going to cause you to not love yourself anymore. While on that break radiate love, serenity, and goodwill towards them. This will keep from hating them or allowing their toxicity to ruin your happiness the next time you are around them.
Once you have separated them from your life your journey toward self-love begins. It won’t be easy and it will take a lot of hard work but eventually, you will begin to love yourself. Before you can find happiness by learning to love yourself you’re going to need to figure out why you don’t love yourself right now. Write down any thoughts of anger, fear, self-criticism, self-condemnation or resentment you experience. If you take the time to do this right and are honest with yourself this list is going to be pretty long at first.
At the end of the day find a quiet place to look over your list. You need to dig down to why you experience that I thought or feeling in the first place and if it is true. When you come to your conclusion if it is an untrue thought cross it off your list and if it ever returns remind yourself why it isn’t true. If it is something you consider to be true make a list of why it bothers you. Once you’ve completed that list if it is something you’re able to change you must decide if your willing to. There will be things however, you cannot change. For those, you will need to come to terms with the fact they are out of your control and eventually they will stop bothering you.
Happiness and loving yourself is perishable. You need to nourish and reinforce them daily. Don’t depend on others to provide you with happiness. Instead, you need to become someone who makes you happy. This journey will be difficult but you can do it. You cannot control your past or future so take the time to live in the present moment. This will allow you to live without worry or regret.
Once you began to love yourself you will notice your happiness has returned. Don’t let others keep you from doing the things you want to do. The only opinion that should matter to you is your own. Try new things, find some enjoyable hobbies, and do things you avoided because you worried about what others might think of you. When you do this you will finally stop being a spectator in your own life.
I wish you the best of luck in being able to find a way to love yourself. Also, I wanted to thank you for taking the time to visit my blog. I urge you to leave a comment below you enjoyed this post or are trying to find happiness like I am.