“I am not alone!”
This is possibly the most common phrase that people like me who have had issues in life internalize when they are able to finally reach out to friends, family, professionals, and organizations and talk about the issues that have screwed up their lives.
Often times the burdens of my past in my opinion is something no human being is able to carry alone. Yet the fear of sharing and letting it all out has lead to a life of silence, seclusion, and pain.
I have yet come to that point where I can pull back the veil and discuss everything no matter how hard I’ve tried. Hours of therapy and lots of money on pills have left me at nearly the same point that I started except I have come to realize I am not alone.
Their are other people like me who can’t escape the trauma of things done to them as a child by people who were supposed to look out for them and keep them safe. In fact that’s what messes with your head the most because years later you still have to deal with these people.
I’ve tried to ignore it. I’ve tried to pretend it didn’t happen but that just didn’t work. So one day I built up enough courage to talk about just a small portion of it and people were either like “That never happened” or they would say “What good does it do to talk about that now? It was years ago.” They don’t seem to get that this stuff still plays out in my head everyday and I’m a prisoner in my own mind. Perhaps dealing with it or even just an apology for some of it would actually help me move on. However that’s never going to happen because some people are just to selfish to take action even though some of them supposedly found God.
Sorry for going on and on I just needed to get that off my chest. By the way to the person who left those hateful comments encouraging me to kill myself you are a horrible person and if you continue to leave comments like that on my blog I will report you to your ISP for spamming.