I've had a lot of bad things happen to me during my childhood which have been very difficult for me to deal with and are also the primary source of my PTSD. I have had so many problems with these memories but I must admit my therapy is helping me cope with it.
I think I need to confront those people who are still alive (4 passed away) and did these horrendous things to me as a child in order for me to finally let go and forgive. I don' t know why but I just want these people to know that I'm no longer afraid and they can't control me. I know many of them will try to deny it and say that these things did not happen and my mind is just so messed up that I'm imagining it. I don't care I'm not doing this to get an apology or to embarrass them. I'd be doing it just so I can show them and myself that these people can no longer control me or scare me. I think once I've confronted them face-to-face my mind will let these things go and then I'll only have one other thing that I need to get over as far as PTSD goes.
It's amazing what medication along with therapy can do.
I'm amazed by what meds and therapy can do. It's like I'm beginning to reprogram my brain and start changing the way I view things. Hopefully, confronting these people doesn't backfire and make me feel worse. Terros has been a godsend and I may even begin to add more group therapies to my treatment regime because because I lost my innocence and had these overwhelming mental issues since a young age I've never really learned how to correctly manage my thoughts and emotions. Before I can confront these people I still need to get over my anxiety and Agoura phobia but once I do build up the courage to do this I will let you guys know how it turns out.
Thank you for reading and all the kind emails I have been receiving from supportive and concerned people all across the world it really has been very helpful to me.
Until next time,