Mentally ill and unemployed

If you haven’t heard, I am now completely jobless. What’s funny is I’m completely at peace with this change. Over the six years, I had been doing this particular job my stress levels would be through the roof. They expected you to be available whenever they needed you. Which meant keeping your Google hangouts open even on your days off and also having to check your email multiple times a day. You happen to go through all of this plus always getting in trouble many times for things that were not even your fault yet when something you do is successful management usually would take all of the praise without acknowledging your help.

Deep down I think had I kept this job I would’ve had a heart attack within the next two years. Also, my memory has gotten so bad that I have trouble finishing sentences, remembering events, doing basic self-care, and even went shopping one day in my underwear because I forgot to put on pants.

I think it’s time for me to realize I have reached the point where I can no longer successfully hold down a job. My wife is supposed to help me pretty soon file for Social Security disability. I have tried in the past but was denied. This time around since I  don’t have any other option if I am denied I will be forced to hire a lawyer to help me with getting disability. I don’t like lawyers, but I really think this is the best option for my family and me right now.

The future while in some ways seems a bit scary I’m optimistic that everything will be okay and feeling healthier as far as my anxiety goes every day.

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