It’s kind of funny I started this blog to keep track of my thoughts and as a way to express myself instead of keeping everything bottled up inside of me and now I’m having trouble even writing on here let alone talking to anybody. I really don’t know how I feel, I just know I don’t feel right in fact I feel kind of numb.
I guess I can accept this because it is a lot better than crying and sadness. Every morning I’ve been waking up after a night filled with nightmares feeling like I really don’t care what happens today. It kind of sounds like depression except when you’re depressed aren’t you supposed to cry? I don’t know what’s wrong with me but I do know something is wrong.
It’s getting harder for me to have a feeling towards anything and that’s kind of scary. I don’t laugh, cry, get angry or even get bored like I used to. It’s like I’m becoming a robot without feeling or care. Nothing interests me anymore so more and more I find myself spending hours at a time just laying around and staring off into space.
Is there a point that people who go through this just snap out of it and start going better? I really hope there is because I’m honestly seriously considering going back to therapy and starting antidepressants once again. Then again I’m not sure if I’m depressed or if maybe something is just wrong with my brain.