If you remember my last blog post you should recall that I was in a rather good mood and felt like I was starting to get my life back on track. What a difference a few days make. I tried coming out my shell and leaving the house only to make a complete fool out of myself and cause myself to reconsider the way I view life. You see before yesterday I honestly view myself as am overall good guy who was just a little down on my luck and struggling to come to terms with my issues. After yesterday however I feel like an idiot who’s been wasting my life a sliding comfortably into that loser mode we all fear.
I’m unable to make a difference. I used to have goals. I wanted to help the less fortunate but I’m starting to become one. I wanted to help the sick. Now I fear I may be mentally ill due to my PTSD and depression. Most of all however I want to actually own a home. I’m sick of apartments and I don’t see how this future will ever come to pass if I’m to messed up mentally to sustain a 9 to 5 job. My only option is start making this online thing work but I’m afraid. I’m afraid I will put all my energy into it and make it the best I can and still fail.
So if you have any ideas or want to help out a little with ideas and such please email me at [email protected] Thanks guys,